Ryan Hawks
“One day, my mother took my oldest daughter to the store. She was 2 years old at the time. We lived in Santa Rosa, walking distance from the local shopping center. As we approached the center, my mom realized, ‘OH, I need my wallet! I can’t go to the store without any money.’ Without missing a beat, my little girl replies, “You can’t even cross the street without money these days, Grandma!”
“I love that story!” he says with a smile. “These days…I kept thinking, these days?! She’s 2!
That was so awesome…”
Ryan’s desire to be a Dad was motivated early in life. Born on the infamous Route 66, his home was southern CA until he was 15. He is the oldest of 6 (two sets of twins) and was responsible for them during the summer while his folks were at work.
He’s lived in Sonoma county for the last 21 years and knows wine country like the back of his hand. You can find Ryan sharing his passion for the region at Napa Driver Tours.
With an earnest grin, Ryan says, “I don’t have a ton of friends, I don’t go out a lot, and I don’t do much honestly. I do, however, try to be the best father I can be. I’m trying my best to create a little person that’s going to be determined, confident, and not be an ass. I want them to have empathy and respect for others, and just be the best woman/little girl they can be.”
“I left home when I was 15. My Dad had a drug problem and was stealing from me. He was not the man I needed in my life at the time. I was simply trying to take care of myself, not my father too. I was already working, buying my own clothes and shoes, and feeding myself most of the time. It wasn’t a bad situation or abusive, I was just ready to be an adult.” Ryan says.
“I moved in with my uncle in Tucson, AZ. That’s where I became a man. My uncle was my roommate. His rules were, ‘Go to school, work, don’t bring the police to my house, and we’re good.’ I took that seriously. He taught me a LOT in life. He is a retired Buddhist monk now. I call him my Monkle. He lives a simple, easy life and I love that part of him.
My Dad, on the other hand, taught me a lot up until I was 12. After that, he taught me what NOT to do in life. Forgiving my father has been a BIG one. It’s taken a long time to get here.” He says as he looks out the window.
“I am truly very grateful for all I have learned…”
“In my early 30’s I was able to hone my skills and focus my ADHD. You see, in my mind, there are millions of thoughts and voices going on all the time. It has made it difficult for me to explain myself at times. I’ve learned, over time, how to make that a positive thing and use it to my advantage. Learning how to focus myself in the right way, without spinning in circles, has been so beneficial because I can move forward with such exhilaration. I can get more done before 8:30am than anyone I know.”
“I’ve also learned how to listen to my wife more” he says with a strong sense of love in his heart. “After about a thousand times of my wife telling me to let her talk, I finally got it. I tend to be the talker in the relationship. Learning how to listen to her has probably been the best thing I could have ever done for her and our relationship. As a husband, that has been a major maturing factor for me.”
Ryan has a code that he strives everyday to live by. “Always put forth first and it will come back to you.”
He shares a story of the kind of man he wants to be in this world.
“I got in trouble with the law once and went to jail for the night. I was 22 at the time. It was stupid, nothing crazy.” As he sat in his cold, musty jail cell, “All I could think about was getting out so I could help my friend fix his alternator so he could get back to school the next day! Fortunately, they let me out an hour later. The next morning, I went over and fixed his alternator and changed a few fuses. He was able to make it back to San Luis Obispo in time for class.
It blows my mind I was even thinking like that!” he says.
“I always go back to that story. I remind myself, ‘That’s how you want to be Ryan. That’s how you want to think. That’s important to me, to be that way.”
